NOTES FROM THE DIRECTOR
“SEPARATING AND REUNITING IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.”
– MAGDA GERBER
As a school, Blue Leaf® is rooted in R.I.E.®, social-emotional intelligence, and the science behind brain development. Our goal is to help children learn that their feelings are safe, their relationships are secure, and they are capable of moving through hard moments with the support of trusted adults. Using Lev Vygotsky’s framework of the Zone of Proximal Development, Bruce Perry and Allen Shore discuss rupture and repair in the parent-child relationship as a pathway to resilience. Their work shows that positive, manageable experiences of stress, when they occur within the safety and support of caring adults, can help children develop resilience by becoming more in tune with their emotions, sense of self, and others.
We know that saying goodbye to someone you love can bring up big feelings for all of us. At Blue Leaf, we believe those feelings are important and recognize that goodbye routines look different for everybody and honor each family’s needs. We absolutely love when parents hang out, and our door is always open throughout the day. With that said, drop-off time can be tricky with big emotions, and we have found the best way to support your children through this transition is to establish a consistent, loving, and quick goodbye routine. Not to be confused with a rushed or hurried goodbye. We ask that parents not “sneak out” of the classroom, as this ruptures trust in the relationship and puts the child on high alert when they enter the building.
Your routine might be something as simple as a big hug, a kiss, saying “I love you,” telling your child who will be picking them up, talking about what you observe in the class, and asking, “/ wonder what you will do first?” This routine helps children know what to expect and gives them a sense of security. It’s, of course, natural for our children to reach for their caregivers, and as parents, we want nothing more than to hand our child to another pair of loving arms. We kindly ask you to avoid making handing the child to the teacher part of the routine. Allowing children the opportunity to walk into the school on their own, once they are developmentally able, is a big part of letting them learn and find their way into Blue Leaf. This is an important part of respecting children’s autonomy and communicating, “I trust you. You are capable of doing this.” Of course, our caretakers are always nearby and ready to welcome and support your child. We want to always be safely encouraging this sense of
autonomy.
As adults, it is important that we allow children to experience a manageable bit of stress in safe ways. We don’t need to remove every uncomfortable feeling for them. Instead, we can give them the confidence that they can experience a hard moment and move through it. Lingering, repeatedly saying goodbye, or returning when your child cries can unintentionally make the transition harder and communicate that there is something for them t
worry about.
While we all hope and strive for children to be happy, it is also normal and okay for your child to be sad. The sadness is because they love you. At Blue Leaf, our caretakers don’t try to distract children from their sadness or make the feeling disappear quickly. Instead, we help children work through it. “You love your mom so much. It’s hard to say ‘goodbye.’ She will be back later to pick you up. I’m right here with you, and you are safe.” It is
always a beautiful full-circle moment when older children remind their peers of these words, because it has become part of their inner sense of security and understanding.
This small daily challenge gives children opportunities to experience discomfort, recover, adapt, and discover that they can handle difficult moments. Over time, these experiences help strengthen a child’s ability to regulate their emotions and respond to challenges. At Blue Leaf, we provide a safe environment where children can experience manageable stress, recover, and build confidence in their ability to cope. A confident goodbye from a
loving adult can be one of the most powerful ways to communicate: “/ love you, / trust you, and I know you are going to have a good day.”
As always, we welcome questions and shared experiences, and would love to hear what has helped you during drop-off and goodbye transitions. Our team is trained and ready to help support you and your family during these transitional times.
